The slate of events in honor of Chemo Kickoff Week are as follows:

Monday April 15 (tax day): Final pre-chemo workout at Power Strength Training. Just when my hamstrings were recovering from their removal from the couch, my doctors have advised that the next two weeks should not be spent pushing sleds around even though they deserve it.

Tuesday April 16: Port placement bright and early (7:30 AM, EDT). It’s a bummer but might save some abuse of my veins during chemo.

Wednesday 17: Chemo 1. We arrive at Lemmen-Holton Cancer Pavilion downtown Grand Rapids for a mid-morning appointment. Labs will be drawn, and the pharmacy will mix my particular cocktail of two chemo drugs. Before administering those drugs, I will have a course of steroids, Benadryl and anti-nausea meds. We expect this process to take four hours.

Thursday, April 18: Neulasta injection that you see advertised on TV. I will indeed be getting that same protocol administered not by arm as in the commercial, but by belly, which interferes with sleep and clothing less than the arm band placement you’ll see.

Thus ends chemo cycle one, except for the lab work the following week and the crash in white blood cells that make social contact and business as usual inadvisable due to infection risk. Should infection ensue, there will be dire consequences to chemo and my well being.  I haven’t found a way to make that funny yet. Maybe someday.