Second cycle of chemo on Wednesday was an unmitigated disaster. My port was “malpositioned,” meaning “impossible to access,” while highly effective as a means of torture. I had very good support with me, and the nurses gave me more Starburst Jellybeans than I could comfortably eat. Guilt is wickedly effective.

The radiology department finally got involved, and they offered to:

1. Go on torturing me because it is fun for them
2. Bring me back another day when I could have anesthesia

I’m taking option 2 with threats on anyone attempting option 1. Jim’s the enforcer, so, you know….

New plan is port surgery at 7:00 Monday morning (5/13), which means there will be good parking. Radiology will leave the port “accessed” so they won’t have to re-stick an already tender, damaged me to complete chemo cycle two.

My limbic system is driving the bus, but I spent a very lovely, sunny day with my son doing some fun things and some business things. And now, my daughter is home for the summer! I’m about as bruised as it gets (oh, wait, no – I’ve had knee surgeries, mastectomy, reconstruction and lumpectomy). In short, I’m finding life exceedingly difficult physically and emotionally.

Thank you all for your prayers, your cards, your friendship. I need them all abundantly.

j